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Right, gather round, Detroit Pistons faithful, because it is time once again to discuss the health and wellbeing of the one and only Isaiah Stewart, a man who plays basketball with the energy of someone who has personally been wronged by every opposing centre in the league. The big question on everybody's lips: what is the latest on Beasley's favourite enforcer? Well, sit down, put the kettle on, and let us have a proper chinwag about it.
Now, trying to get a straight answer out of an NBA injury report is a bit like trying to service your own car using only a butter knife and blind optimism. You know something is happening under the bonnet, but good luck working out what. Stewart, bless his rowdy heart, has spent more time on the injury report than some players spend on the bench, and yet somehow he always rocks up looking like he is ready to fight a small building. The updates tend to read like cryptic crossword clues — "questionable", "day-to-day", "out for personal reasons" — when we all know the personal reason is probably that he headbutted a door frame during a particularly aggressive pre-game warm-up. The man treats a routine lay-up like a declaration of war, so honestly, it is a miracle he has any working parts left at all. Pistons medical staff deserve a knighthood, frankly.
There is a particular shade of gloom that descends upon Detroit when Stewart is listed as questionable, and it looks a lot like the inside of this car at midnight. Fans refresh Twitter like it owes them money, waiting for Shams or Woj to drop a bombshell. And look, here is the funny bit: with most players, an injury update is bad news. With Stewart, the bigger worry is what he will do to himself when he is fully fit and allowed to fly around like an unattended firework. The silver lining? When he does return, he will almost certainly attempt to dunk on someone's entire family tree within four minutes of tip-off. So keep the faith, Detroit. The big fella will be back before you can say "flagrant foul", and the league's ribs will tremble accordingly.
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